Do You Know Your Partner’s Love Primary Language?

Do you know your partner’s love language? What better day to learn how your partner wants to be loved than Valentine’s Day? Registered Clinical Psychologist Deshayne Lopez says it is essential to know the primary love language of your significant other to foster a healthy relationship. According to Lopez, understanding your partner’s love language prevents miscommunication and leads to a more fruitful and lasting bond. She spoke with Annlyn Apolonio for her Open Your Eyes Feature: Transformative Living.

Deshayne Lopez

Deshayne Lopez, Registered Clinical Psychologist

“There are five love languages, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of services, receiving or giving gifts, and physical touch. When I talk to people about this I like to explain to people that we all have all five of them. But, we have a primary one we enjoy; understanding love languages also understands that person. So, even when we talk about love languages I like to go back to who you are as a person, because when two persons come together they have different life experiences. So, we want to understand why that love language is that person’s primary one because it gives context. Because, when we are in a relationship we have to also develop a secondary love language. It has to be where we are both engaged, and your partners love languages may not be the same as yours. So, we have to get up every day and actively work on developing that secondary one so that when we show love our partner is receiving it in a way that makes sense for them. There has been time when people say I do everything, everything from your love language. How about your partners love language? That is why it is very important. You are giving based on your primary love language, but then your partner may not be receiving it they way you are excited about because that is not your partner love language.”